Understanding the Assessment
Before we discuss the scoring scale, we will provide a very brief summary of the four categories of questions:
When you Reach Out, you initiate the process of connecting. You can do this with both old and new connections. You can reach out to a barista, a waiter at a restaurant, the person in line behind you at the store, a new work colleague, your best friend, or a family member. Reaching out to others immediately builds a connection bridge regardless of how different you are or how little history you have. It can be as simple as saying, “Wow this line is long,” or “Crazy weather out there!” You can reach out throughout the day to make someone’s day, and to make your own day.
When you Seek Understanding, you deepen your initial connection. You lead with curiosity and questions to understand someone’s full story and share what is important to you. This mutual sharing predictably leads to mutual appreciation. It also helps identify areas of common ground – hobbies, family make-up, goals, experiences, professional life, social preferences, travels, values, arts, unique skills/interests – from which to deepen the connection even further.
Make Memories by creating shared experiences that can be as small as taking a hike to cooking or playing a board game together. By sharing celebrations and struggles you can significantly deepen the connection.
Check In is like glue to a new or old connection since it tells the other party you were thinking of them, appreciate them, and that they matter. There are many simple ways to check in that are accessible to anyone and that take less than one minute to do.
The further down the connection funnel, the deeper the commitment (from both parties) and the deeper the connection you are building. The quality, not the quantity, of our connections is most important. That said, we have opportunities for many connections at the top end of the connection funnel. As the connection deepen further down the funnel we will likely focus on fewer of those connections.
As we build connections over time, each of the connection keys builds foundational dynamics that facilitate the next key. Although our connections deepen as we progress down the connection funnel, human connections are more organic than any sequence might suggest. We are empowered to start with any of the four connection keys as it fits the situation and the person.
Your Section Scores
| Reach Out score: |
Q1 + Q2 + Q3 = ____ |
| Seek Understanding score: |
Q4 = Q5 = Q6 = _____ |
| Make Memories score: |
Q7 + Q8 = Q9 = ______ |
| Check In score: |
Q10 = Q11 = Q12 = ______ |
If your score within each section was…
12 – 15 – You are doing a super job of building human connections! Keep focused and keep learning about yourself (and others) and taking action to connect.
7 -11 – You are doing a good job of building human connections. There is also untapped potential to have a positive impact on your own wellbeing and performance… and on the lives of others. As you read the book, focus on the chapter that corresponds to your lowest section score. For example, if your lowest section score was Reach Out, then pay extra attention to Chapter 4 that addresses Connection Key #1: Reach Out)
6 or below – Start today to create a better tomorrow for yourself and for your connections. The journey starts with you. Begin by reaching out more. Your actions will very likely be self-reinforcing as you feel the positive effect for yourself and see the positive impact on others.
Human connection is a strategic advantage that helps people live better, work better, and go farther together.
Check out the book for simple actions you can take to build human connections.
Consider retaking the self-assessment after three months or so once you have taken selected actions.
